Saturday, 17 January 2015

Engagement is yours not hers


When we got engaged weeks before Christmas kicked off we were elated and anxious at the same time. Why anxious? Because we didn't want to steal the Christmas spotlight for others, especially those in our family. There were toasts to our engagement and future together but we didn't push it. We weren't the reason for the season after all.

So planning got pushed until after the New Year. This suited me especially because I found the whole adjustment period i.e. being a girlfriend to being a fiance, particularly stressful. See, I don't cope well with change in my life at all. Going on holiday? Stress. Change to daily routine? Stress. So naturally becoming a fiance and faced with lots of well meaning comments such as "let the planning begin, you won't know what's hit you!" didn't go down too well. On the outside I was smiling, on the inside I was wanting to crawl into the nearest hole. When we were together as a couple and enjoying our relationship as we did before, and without we had without constant comments from others I was fine. The holidays didn't give much couple time to us though.

Into middle of January and after really seeking God's peace on the change and I'm starting to really look forward to the whole shebang and elopement is quickly disappearing from my mind. We've started to get quotes from venues and some nights I toss and turn with excitement about it all.

I guess the lesson here is that your engagement is yours. It's your emotions, your plans, will go at your speed and will be best shared between you, your partner and God. Don't be sucked into a make believe world of what you "should" be feeling and "should" be doing at any particular time. Reading other blogs has both helped and hindered in this regard: I love reading about what others have done for their weddings though often only positive emotions are written about and none of the stress, anxiety and nerves are laid down.

And don't get me started on the battle of budget vs. dreams (read: Pinterest)!

Do you have any wedding planning tips for me?