Saying goodbye

Two weeks ago today I lifted my sweet old dog into my arms for the last time. I was flying to Portugal in the morning and that stormy Sunday night cudde was to be our last. My parents had decided to have him put down whilst I was away to end his misery and struggle. I understood the reasoning, I really did, but it doesn't make the goodbye and the grief any easier.

I was 11 years old when I first met him. He was so tiny, 7 weeks old and fitted into the palms of my hands. His coat hadn't broken yet and he had beautifully soft puppy fur and he loved to snuffle as close to your cheek as he could get. Growing up with this lovable ball of fun was a great adventure!

He came camping (he loved tents and sleeping bags), he wanted to be involved in every little detail of your life and was always there to welcome you home. I've lived in 5 different countries and he was there to bound up to me when I returned from every one of them.

I can't quite imagine how empty my parents house will feel now. I have to admit, I haven't been back since saying goodbye. Only a week prior to leaving him he had been rushing around my flat looking for food before crashing down on my sofa because he'd used all his energy.

I don't have many "blog worthy" photos of him. He was a Jack Russell and didn't like the camera. I also don't think I even had a digital camera for the first 5 years of his life!

Words don't come easily when trying to write about him and the hole that's now in my heart. So I'll stop and leave you with some photos of this little joy.

 Sleeping under my desk at work in his Christmas jumper

He was never impressed when it snowed

So dog owners, give your little ones an extra cuddle today. Take them on a memorable walk they'll love. 

Dream Job

How much fun is this Blogtober challenge? I'm all in for fun things, so I'm jumping right in with October 2nd: Dream job when you were little/what is it now?

As with every kid, I had differing dreams and aspirations throughout my younger days. I think when I was really little I wanted to be a Princess, what little girl doesn't? In all seriousness though, the major job aspiration I had was to be a backing dancer. Not famous. Not a singer. Not photographed a lot. Not the centre of attention. Just the dancer in the background. Needless to say, this hasn't happened and I quit dancing when I was 12.

I still watch the dancers more than the singers when I go to a concert or watch a show on TV though. It would've been the coolest job!

My dreams now are a secret! I'm a little scared to see them through and don't really feel comfortable sharing only for people to throw out unsolicited advice. Sorry!

Linking up with The Daily Tay @TaylorGraceWolfe and Helene In Between @ heleneinbetween

Goals check back - How did I do?

I've loved having goals to work towards this month. I've been able to muse over them and having a physical list has helped to pin down certain goals to achieve this past month out of many swimming around my mind. So how did I do? 

Finish the She Reads Truth Hosea study
Check! See my thoughts on the study here. This was such an inspiring yet challenging study and I'd encourage you to read through the Hosea with a study guide if you haven't already. The She Reads Truth website still has their study guide here.

Run at least twice a week
I started this with the best of intentions and did get a few runs in during the beginning and middle of the month. Then I had dental work, which resulted in a mouth and tongue infection. Then I caught a cold...so this goal is going to carry over.

Try new recipes from my cookbooks
I tried one. ONE! What is wrong with me? I had a whole 30 days and a shelf full of books. What's wrong with me? However, the recipe I did try was from the Hairy Bikers Asian Adventure book and it was amazing. Matt agreed so that's not even a biased opinion...

Have my first dinner party with friends
FAILED! Much to the sadness of some (who will remain nameless but you know who you are...you...the people who have asked me on a weekly basis) this hasn't happened. I have no excuses. A carry over for sure.

Print holiday snaps and use them in decor
Half-way there! I found a Snapfish coupon on Wowcher to print 100 photos for a pound so I've had them printed. I stil have one evening left to fulfill the decorating part of this and I will persevere! Also, why hadn't I got them printed before, I've absolutely loved looking back at old memories. 


I didn't have a photo for this post and blogging "rules" dictate I need one. So here's a photo of some horses in the New Forest National Park who were chilling out by my car. These weren't the horses who tried to eat my picnic, though the one on the left has some attitude to show me his butt.

Thankful Thursday

It's the first week of Autumn and there's so much to be thankful for I'm a little giddy from it all so here goes:

1. I found a room mate! Literally months of praying and my friend I lived with in Georgia is moving from France to live with me. Now that's worth waiting for. I can't wait for her to move in and we're already planning the next few months of fun. 

2. The Autumn weather has been beautiful. The mornings have been crisp and fresh with the bright sunshine shining all day and warming up my office. I've loved walking in my lunch break with the sun warming my face. 

3. I booked my summer holiday. Finally. So, I guess going on holiday in October doesn't really count as summer, but as we're off to the Algarve in Portugal I'm hoping it'll still be warm and sunny. The hotel is 4* and the deal was an absolute bargain. Can't wait to have time with my boyfriend without work/life distracting us from each other. 

4.  Sailing. Lots. I know my post the other day made it sound like I didn't like sailing with my boyfriend but I really do...even though we always disagree we have a great time still. The weather has been great for sailing lately and we're getting out on the water a lot. 

5. Where I am. This time last year I was in a job I despised and was ill through stress, anxiety and tiredness. This year I'm in a job which I feel good in, work 9-5.30 and have my evenings free. This makes me more available for other areas and people outside of my day job. Very thankful for where I am 12 months on. 

What are you thankful for? 

Is it good enough to try?

Lately I've been into telling people that "I tried my best", even if I have failed at something or not quite done as well as expected. Somebody called me out on it the other day and asked if I thought that was good enough. I did a double-take. Of course trying your best is good enough I exclaimed with a mixture of indignant reproach and bemusement. Then I thought long and hard about it and started to wonder if it really is good enough to try your best at something when you know you might not fufill someone's expectations.

The biggest one right now in my life is sailing. My boyfriend is an avid and very talented helmsman (and crew for that matter) and he loves to be sailing at any given opportunity. In fact, before we started dating I invited him on a family sailing trip at the request of my sister-in-law who thought it would get us talking again after our fall-out weeks before. I didn't think he would actually take a day off work to sail with us all - he did. I would love to believe this is because he wanted to spend time with me, though I'm not totally convinced it wasn't the sailing which swayed him into saying yes more than my presence. So you get the picture, the man loves his sailing.

I've been sailing solo since the age of seven though not competitively and not with much gusto. Prior to that I was always thrown in a boat and everybody else did the work because, well I was so little. In Greece I taught sailing each day but under the supervision of a head instructor and made sure the teaching was up-to-scratch. I suppose I was in the boat for moral support and helpful hints more than anything else. I also got a great tan from working on the beach so there was that. So you see, sailing wasn't new to me when I started crewing for my boyfriend.

I don't make the cut though. Everytime we sail together we go through the same pattern which is roughly this: smiles, his erratic steering, my frustration, smiles because it's enjoyable for a moment, me feeling like he's patronising me with his comments, him thinking I'm not trying. 

Sometimes I think it's better to try than not. Sometimes it's right to persevere. Just as long as we have realistic expectations of ourselves and our talents and don't falsely lead others into thinking we're brilliant at something we're not. I'm not great at sailing, no matter how hard I try, but he knows that now. We can only improve, we can only try our best. 

Anything is possible in an Audi

Just a short post about this amazing little Audi which was spotted and snapped at a new hair salon in town. Now, I don't know about you but I wouldn't say no to somebody gifting me an Audi for a week. I wouldn't like to own one, I'd just like to whizz around. Maybe I'd drive to the Lakes and have unbridled comfort on the 10 hour drive. Or I could go shopping in France, have lunch in Belgium, maybe trip to Switzerland for some hot chocolate. I get the feeling anything would be possible in an Audi. 

That's why if I were a 3 year old again this little car would've changed my low opinion of getting my hair cut. 

You see that fringe? That's because I wouldn't sit still in the chair when I had to have my hair cut. Thankfully the film Tangled wasn't released either or I definately wouldn't have let anybody near me with scissors. 

So well done hair salon with the mini Audi chair. You're setting yourself up for some easy wins there. Soon there might be no little terrors at the salon anymore...until my children are born of course.

Hosea

I know I'm late with this Hosea thoughts post for She Reads Truth but it really took me a while to gather and decipher my own feelings about this book.

It's a story of unthinkable grace, love which abounds and mercy which only Christ can show to us. For a man to be told to marry the outcast; an unclean woman who cheats on him many a time, only for him to keep loving, keep forgiving.

God's love story for Israel and Judah are written out in this book and to be honest that was the hardest part to read. This isn't a book for the faint hearted that's for sure! His wrath is plain and it's almost scary to read, hard to swallow. Because the truth is, alike Israel and Judah, and alike  Gomer, I too prove faithless and flippant about God's love at times. The people is Israel had been rescued from slavery, brought out into a promised land, provided for by God in every respect yet they still complained bitterly. Hands up, I complain a lot of the time about many different (very unimportant) things. God provides for me and yet I throw my little worldly tantrums and console myself in people and Netflix more than I seek Him.

The book of Hosea speaks of God binding himself to us and I imagine he's not talking about bonds which can be broken. The theme of marriage is also prevalent: that when we marry this is a worldly picture of God's relationship with His Church; His people. When we stand at the altar and promise to love our spouse for the rest of our lives this is a picture of how God entered into relationship with us when he came into our lives. A relationship which perseveres, loves through all things and places God above all else.

Most powerfully to me though is the image of God waiting for my return, with love and no anger:

11 v.9: "I will not execute my burning anger...for I am God and not a man,

for the Holy One is in your midst, and I will not come in wrath"